I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
