That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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