Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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