He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
