I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
