I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
