The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
