i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
