blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize