The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
