drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
