I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
