Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
