There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
