would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
