I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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