Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
