This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
