Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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