No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
