I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
