can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
