Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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