no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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