I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
