For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
