He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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