so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
