Whod you bang
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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