He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
