Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
