I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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