Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
