This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
