Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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