So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
