Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
