My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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