He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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