We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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