if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
