So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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