My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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