Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
