I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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