MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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