Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
