Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
