btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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