oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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