Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Sober January is a disaster.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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