I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
