just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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