guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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