Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
