ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
