I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
