best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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