handjob tips. give me some.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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