so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
